Breaks My Heart
by ShadowStarreh
Summary: A 3 Part Song Fic about Inu's feelings after he upsets Kagome over a fight. The song is an old Monica song Breaks My Heart. So yesh... Enjoy! Disclaimer in Profile
1. Part 1

**Part I **

Inuyasha lay in the branches of a tree overlooking the old bone eaters well. How many times had he done this with such contempt in his heart? He stared up into the majestic blue and cloudless summer sky; not really taking in all the splendid surroundings of the summer day that were around him. He just lay there...alone in his pain and sadness. The hanyou had never felt as torn as he was now in his many years. He knew well hurt and pain but never had he felt like his physical being was lying in the tree and his heart 500 years in the future. Tearing himself apart and it was over a single girl whom had always been there and he hardly ever noticed. Kagome was long gone as he knew should would be after their little falling out but he had hoped he could have caught up with her and explained his strange behavior. Now all he could do was think about the days gone by...

_When I think of what I've done __  
__All the pain that I bring __  
__Baby you should've walked out on me _

Visions of arguing with her and calling her such vulgar names flashed into his mind as the wind picked up and began to amuse itself with his long silver hair. He had been so bitter towards her and he wondered if she'd ever forgive him this time. It didn't matter what they fought about, he had made her cry and just the thought of tears trailing from her soft brown eyes tore at his heart and brought a pain not familiar to him. He really couldn't help it; there was something about the strange girl from the future that seemed to call him to her. And it wasn't her reflection of Kikyo either. Though he would forever have the deceased priestess forever in his mind, Inuyasha wanted to tell Kagome his feelings that he had for her. Instead, all he did was cause the one he loved more pain.

_And when I turned away from you __  
__whenever there were hard times __  
__How could you still be with me _

So many times he had pushed her away...so many times had he been cruel to her so that she'd just stay out of his life and leave him alone. Yet why, why did she always have to return with a bright smile and eyes shining with tears? Why did I have to fall in love with you Inuyasha thought callously, sliding out of the tree and landing gracefully on the forest floor. This wasn't like him; to get all jumbled and confused over his emotions for a girl. Though, she at least was different in more ways than one. He walked up the hill swiftly with his regal and arrogant step like always and simply enjoyed the grass swaying gently against his feet. The bone eater's well stood before him… the only connection to this time with hers. His only way to her it seemed. He stopped a few feet from the well, half-expecting the over-sized yellow book bag to swing over the rim along with the bouncing teenager he had fallen so in love with.

_And it was no mistake when I hurt you that day __  
__And went out with somebody new __  
__But still you forgave me like it was so easy __  
__I should've been better to you _

He remembered so clearly that day so long ago when he had walked up this hill towards Kagome after she had seen him with Kikyo. She forgave him easily like it was nothing and had remained by his side as always. She even held his hand as they walked away back towards the village. It was a gesture that would forever engrave itself upon his memory and cause him guilt for the rest of his days with her. Inuyasha sighed and placed a hand onto the rim of the well and stared down into the darkness. Will you always remain by my side Kagome, he thought sadly. He backed away from the well and sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. Things are just so confusing...so confusing. They had been together for so long and he knew that he should have been so much better to her. Inuyasha plopped down onto the soft grass and drew his knees up to his chest. He placed his head on his knees and stared at the old well. He wondered just how much Kagome had really gone through since that day when she climbed out of this very well and laid eyes upon him, impaled to the tree. That time seemed so long ago and they had come so far in their journey and done so much together. The thought of being apart from her was unbearable...it was causing him so much pain. Than again, even when they were together, he felt pain…the pain of never allowing himself to be truthful with her.

* * *

_Complete lyrics of Breaks my heart _

_When i think of what i've done, all the pain that i've brought  
baby, you should've walked out on me  
And when i turned away from you, whenever there were hard times  
How could you still be with me _

_And it's no mistake, when i hurt you that day  
And went out with somebody new  
But still you forgave me like it was so easy  
I should've been better to you _

_Baby, it breaks my heart  
To think that lovin me is not easy to do  
And i dont mean to make it hard  
Sorry for all the changes i put you through _

_And it's hard to believe after everything  
You're still here right beside me  
Wouldn't trade you for this whole world  
Thankful just bein your girl _

_Never gave you my heart, cause i never thought  
you deserved any of me  
I never told you how i felt, when deep inside i knew that  
You're really what i need _

_And i always gave you up whenever i thought  
Something better came along  
And right when i'd come back, you waiting for me  
And you welcome me home _

_Baby, it breaks my heart  
To think that lovin me's not easy to do  
And i don't mean to make it hard  
Sorry for all the changes i put you through _

_And it's hard to believe after everything  
You're still here right beside me  
Wouldn't trade you for this whole world  
Thankful juss bein' your girl _

_And if it takes my whole life  
I'll make it up to you  
'Cause i've been so cruel  
And you've given your love to me in spite of everything  
I-I don't deserve you _

_From this day forward, I'm truly yours  
it took me a while to see  
That we were meant for one another  
Thank you for loving me _

_Baby, it breaks my heart  
To think that lovin' me's not easy to do  
And i don't mean to make it hard  
Sorry for all the changes i put you through _

_And it's hard to believe after everything  
You're still here right beside me  
Wouldn't trade you for this whole world  
Thankful just bein' your girl _

_Baby, it breaks my heart  
To think that lovin' me is not so easy to do  
And I don't mean to make it hard  
Sorry for all the changes I put you through _

_And it's hard to believe after everything  
You're still here right beside me  
Wouldn't trade you for this whole world  
Thankful just bein' your girl_


	2. Part 2

_Baby it breaks my heart __  
__To think that loving me is not easy to do __  
__And I don't mean to make it hard __  
__Sorry for all the changes I put you through __  
__And it's hard to believe __  
__After everything you're still right beside me __  
__Wouldn't trade you for this whole world __  
__Thankful just being your boy __  
__Never gave you my heart __  
__Cause I never thought __  
__You deserved any of me _

He knew why he never told that stupid girl every time he saw her awaking in the morning that when the rising sun would glisten in her long dark hair, it stole the very air out of his lungs. In his mind, she was the most beautiful thing to wake up to and was thankful she was the first person he saw and the last person he thought of each day. To see her walking serenely towards him with her pure smile was all Inuyasha would ever ask for in life; that's all he ever needed to witness.

Inuyasha closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to catch Kagome's scent anywhere on the wind. Her lovely scent was gone along with her...he could smell her nowhere. He sighed and fell backwards to lounge in the high grass and stare up that the sky above him. A small purple butterfly fluttered above him and landed on the tip of his nose. He centered his amber gaze onto the small insect and frowned slightly at it as he reached up and snatched it from his nose. Feeling it frantically beating its wings against his hand was a strange sensation and he opened his fingers quickly to allow its freedom. The butterfly took flight once again and soared off on tiny powdery wings into the sky leaving Inuyasha alone once again.

That was one thing the Hanyou was used to. In his past, no one had ever showed him kindness or any sign of love like Kagome beside his own mother. Kikyo may have been kind to him at one point in time and may have even loved him, but it didn't matter now. The priestess had not trusted him as fully as he deserved and, of course, there was the fact that she was dead and the clay doll that walked the earth in her place was just that...a doll. It wasn't Kikyo and it never would be and he knew that like the butterfly he'd have to let his thoughts of Kikyo go. The woman who had now captured the heart he was afraid to give to anyone was Kagome and it would be Kagome who kept his heart for all time.

_I never told you how I felt __  
__When deep inside I knew that __  
__You're really what I need _

His bitter, frail heart, tainted by the mistreatment he recieved from humans had been tamed by an innocent teen girl. Despite what his companions thought, he was changing and, in a way, calming down.

Fear. For the first time in his life Inuyasha was afraid. He was afraid of rejection...afraid that because he'd broken her heart so many times that she'd say no and leave him.

Leave him...he wouldn't be able to deal with it. His love for her had grown so strong that he would not be able to handle it and if she did leave him for good, he'd gladly lay by this very well and wait for her return someday.

_And I always gave you up __  
__whenever I thought something better come along _

Inuyasha shook his head, closing his eyes and snuggling deeper into the grass and weeds. Kagome...she thought that what he wanted was Kikyo but Kikyo was the last person on his mind. He had pushed her from his mind...and heart...long ago. Kagome was his and she was the girl he desired; lusted after. Of course though...he could never understand the pain he probably made Kagome experience the times he had been foolish and ran off to speak with Kikyo in some idiotic attempt to revive in him the shaky, yet peaceful time he had had with her before her tragic demise.

_And right when I come back __  
__You're waiting for me __  
__And you welcomed me home _

All those times, all the memories of how foolish and stupid he had been to her flooded into his mind and he winced. Fights over his decisions or even the silliest things such as stopping her from going home to her own time; Kagome had always accepted his apology and remained by him even though she was most likely hurt. And maybe it did hurt her... maybe that's what he was destined for in life. To cause pain to those he held dear.

_Baby it breaks my heart __  
__To think that loving me is not easy to do __  
__And I don't mean to make it hard __  
__Sorry for all the changes I put you through __  
__And it's hard to believe __  
__After everything you're still right beside me __  
__Wouldn't trade you for this whole world __  
__Thankful just being your boy _

Kagome landed gracefully at the bottom of the well in the feudal era dressed in a pink flowery summer Kimono that her mother had made for her to wear to a festival she was going to with her younger brother Souta. Being forgetful as she was, she had forgotten her purse full of her make-up at Kaede's hut and she needed them desperately. Kagome carefully began to hoist herself out of the well, hoping Inuyasha was nowhere near. She was still a little upset over their current little spat and didn't want to confront him just yet. She cared so much for the idiot hanyou but he was so inconsiderate of her emotions. Did he even notice how much turmoil he put her through she thought to herself as she almost slipped but regained her balance and continued up the stone wall. Inuyasha, still lost in his thoughts didn't notice the intoxicating scent he had been hoping for. She peeked her head cautiously out of the well's stone wall and spotted him in the grass, staring up into the sky as if he were waiting for her return.


End file.
